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I usually start with "Hey, we're good friends, right?" This usually gets a very worried/wary look. I then tell them directly whatever is awry.
My favorite, however, was at a fancy dress cocktail party. I was talking to a good friend with large breasts in a tight dress. She had some cream cheese on the undercurve of her breast. "You have some cream cheese on you."
"Where?" she says, looking down and not seeing it.
"Um... outside of your line of vision." She laughed, my girlfriend laughed and hit me, and her boyfriend cleaned it up discreetly.
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I can't read your signature. Sorry.
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