G'day again, I'm back HEHE (im the big story teller heh)
Well since the start of the year, I met a few new people and this one girl in particular..
She's great, she has so much to offer anyone, as a friend as a girlfriend etc..
She's had like 3 bf's this year, they never work out... she tries to hold on and does good etc, but the guys she gets are just complete jerk off's.. but yeah... I became really good friends with her, like really close.. tell one another alot and just support each other, go to movies, ice skating parties etc.. just as friends yeah..
For a while, a mate of mine was trying to get with her, i was thinking "Heh' poor her if u get with her man, she can do so much better" he didn't really like that but oh well heh, I think that once I realized that he couldn't get with her, my lil' heart started doing it's own thing and I became, SORT of fond of her.. nothing too strong, just sort of felt a little different
Anyway, we went to a party 2 nights ago.. it was like 4 of my mates 18th birthdays all combined.. I went with her and 2 of my mates, we met in town (she was late, damn women!) we walked up to the party and got some alco then walked in... it wasn't BYO so I had to drink like 12 cans before I went in, but I got her scotch in..
Anyway, after being shouted a few drinks and she having a TINY bit to drink, we walked back down to town to get on a bus to come back to my place. on the way down, I was like "I feel like a fuckin' idiot" and we talked about how I felt like a fuckin idiot a bit, and I ended up just saying yeh.. I want to kiss you and stuff (alcohol induced) makes me say pretty much everything heh.. so yeah, we talked about that a lil bit - she said that she sort of had feelings for me and was just afraid of getting hurt...
ANd yeah!! on the bus, I said "so can I kiss u or what" she said yes, so I did... then I think the alcohol wore off and I felt sort of weird... so yeah, we jumped into bed [she was tired] (i've slept next to her before, never done anything) anyway... we kissed like once more, and i was kissing her on her cheeks, neck etc.. I said "do you wnt me to stop?" "No" So I was like, heh okay.. and yeah.. i stopped that then started just rubbing her tummy and soft n stuff... and she fell asleep HEH!!
SO i was like doh!
But yeah... woke up the next morning, and I felt so bloody awkward.. I couldn't speak to her like I usually would, like.. I wanted to kiss her.. and hug her n shit, but I was just scared and felt bad I guess, she said I done nothing wrong, or anything to feel bad about... but I dunno what to do, we went into town and she left, gave one another a hug and then I left..
I sent her an e-mail just saying, things are sorta weird.. I do like you, just never had the guts before etc..
And I dunno what to do, things are great and always have been as friends... we were huggy and shit then anyway... but I always just awnted to hug her n shit more HEH
But I dunno what to do really, whether I should try to pursue it into a relationship, or to just step back and leave things as friends?.
What are your views on dating "friends" etc? - I'm confused hehe,
Cheers.
p.s. I stress that "feeling weird" thing, cos damn! i felt so bloody weird
