This a very interesting article about folks with disabilities who work in the sex industry.
It is often hard to see past the disability to the sexual human being.
These stories gave me some interesting insight.
Are there aspects of this that make you uncomfortable or maybe turned on?
Or does it matter at all?
Quote:
Desirability: Wounded healer
Pamela Walker
Pamela is a sex educator - sometimes paid, sometimes not. She is 53 years old, but looks much younger.
She is beautiful, sexy and vibrant.
She speaks publicly on disability and sexuality and is very pro-active within the disability rights movement.
Disabled from the age of 18 months with polio, she has used a wheelchair since she was 30 years old.
She now lives in Berkeley, California, with her partner Michael, who is twenty years younger.
"I have often engaged in sex as a healing method, having encounters with people who have a poor body image or are rebounding from a failed marriage.
I also engage sexually with people who want to try doing things that are less conventional, but don't feel comfortable with their partners.
This might include non-traditional positions, dressing up, spankings, role-playing etc.
Part of my responsibility is to help my sexual partners overcome their fears."
Pamela sees her sexuality as being a part of everything that she does - it is an integral part of her personality.
Her disability quickly made her aware of the contradictions within society's view of sexuality and disability.
She felt that she was a sexual person, yet she was treated as asexual: "I became a sex educator as a natural progression, after discovering that I could be a sexual person on my own terms."
Pamela often acts as a sexual counselor to people who are coming to terms with a recent disability.
The programmer features a session between Pamela and a thirty-year-old man who was recently paralyzed in a driving accident.
Another aspect of Pamela's role as a sex educator involves increasing the publics awareness of the issues that surround disability and sexuality.
She trains staff at Good Vibrations, a renowned local sex shop, about how best to serve disabled clients.
Her training sessions include visual demonstrations in the use of sex aids.
S&M role-play is an integral part of Pamela's sexual identity.
She acts as a dominant to men who are willing to be submissive. As part of the role-play, she might blindfold her partner and play mind games to get them off balance.
"I have learned much about the true nature of power through being both a submissive and a dominant.
When playing a dominant role,
I have a power often denied to me as a disabled woman in real life.
It has enabled me to be more powerful within my own life."
Twice a week Pamela receives a massage to help control the constant pain that she feels due to her impairment.
"My home is my sacred space, and as a result I am very careful who I allow into it.
I need a masseuse who will accept my lifestyle and not judge me if she finds scratches or bruises on my body due to my sexual practices.
Elisa is more than a masseuse - she and I are confidants."
In May 2002, Pamela danced in the annual San Francisco Carnival.
She attends the carnival every year, skimpily dressed, and dances through the streets of the city's notorious Mission district. She gets fantastic reactions from the spectators and other participants: "People get physical with you.
It's a very sensual experience."
|
There are three other stories to go with Pamela's.
You can find them here
Link