-|Flake|-

1. Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his backswing.

Finally his exasperated partner asked, "what the hell is taking so long?" "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse,"

Bob explained. "I want to make a perfect shot."

"Good lord!" his companion exlaimed. "You don't have a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."


2. A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said:"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me." she fumed.

The man sympathized and said:"Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

You're right." She said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea." the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."