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I think your Dad probably needs to hear about this from you (JMHO) but it wouldn't hurt for you to tell mom first. She can get her emotions out of the way first and then be a support to you when you tell your Dad. She may have a calming effect on your dad if he sees that she's ok with this and supports you.
I think it is a good idea to see a church counselor about this. They are often in touch with what kind of community things can be done to help you and support you. If you did need to move out they may have rescources to direct you to the best and more reasonably costing housing available.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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