Hi and welcome,
I think there are so many roads you can take with this. But really only you can decide what is right for you and your life. But as all we all need to vent sometimes. Even if it is just to a group of anonymous trolls and TFP addicts
We're not all that bad are we??
You might need to sit down with her and ask her what really is goin on her? Is she in this friendship to get more from you? If so then will you be able to cope with being with this woman, your first true love..
I've been told by many a person that women are huggy creatures, they like to hold their mate hug them to death and feel close to them. I'd say that's why your relationship probably went sour at the end cause you were apart. My mother, with words I stand by, says "If love is true it can cross any distance". Myself, I'm currently in a relationship with a girl who I love very very deeply, I'm engaged to her, but the thing is is at the end of last year we broke up because things were bad with us. I was doin stupid things and because I was unsure of 'us'. So I moved away.. two hours by flight. When we were together I promised that she could come up for a holiday one time if I moved back. She did and I'm so glad that she did. We had the best time, I felt whole again, a part of myself that had been missing for so long. We got engaged August this year. We're still far apart but we love each other so much that the distance only causes little problems. I fly down there every two months to see her so it is all good.
So.. um.. you see my point? lol But the thing I'd REALLY like to know is WHY you can't open up to her and talk to her? Sometimes the best thing to do is confront your problems head on and lay all your cards out on the table..
ok ok.. I'm finished.. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.. I hope it does