Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - What's the most screwed-up thing your significant other (or ex, now) has done to you?

Johnny Rotten · 10-22-2003, 10:38 PM

Thank you to those who have shared their stories. It's a brave thing. I'll add my own to the pile.

My first serious relationship, in college. A sweet little thing, couldn't hurt a fly. We were like two peas in a pod, happy as clams. At least I was. She'd talked early on about serious relationship stuff, and almost three years in, we start looking around for an engagement ring. We also start working at the same place, and have already been living together for most of the relationship. We even work in the same department, as well as going to the same university, of course. We make friends with a young married couple, also co-workers, one of whom also works in our department. The husband is an okay guy. A little verbally harsh with his wife, but he never does or says anything that sets off any alarms in my head. I was blissfully ignorant.

It's about three weeks before Valentine's Day, when I plan to propose to her. One morning, before work, I get woken up by a phone call from the wife. She tells me that my girlfriend has cheated with her husband. Now, the night before, she'd gone over to their place on the pretense of using their printer because ours was broken. She came back at 1 AM and took a shower right as she got home. I'd called earlier and no one answered.

I get the hell out of Dodge and stayed with a my parents for a few days to clear my head. But I come back and we try to work things out. A week later she tells me she's not in love with me anymore and thinks we should separate. I had no idea how much she had drifted from me, nor how she'd been shaking her ass around at work. But the day I left permanently, she went to him and told him she was available, and they proceeded to fuck like rabid monkeys. She goes on to sleep with other guys at work. At no point does she show a significant sign of remorse, doubt, guilt, shame, etc. I go from the verge of proposing to her to this. Like flipping a switch. Her, of all people, who couldn't hurt a fly.

That kind of thing stays with you. I couldn't eat for a week. A bitter irony is that I'd gained 35 pounds over the course of the relationship, then lost it all and more on Atkins in the space of several weeks.

She told me later that she'd always thought she was a bad person and didn't deserve good things. Coming from her, it's like I'd never even known her to begin with.

Because of the job market and living with my parents in the ass-end of the suburbs, I had little social life to speak of and entered into a forced voyage of celibacy, with drama and depression along the way. I parted ways with a good friend and burned a bridge elsewhere, however justified that may have been. But I have a salaried job now, and am looking for a place in the city. Light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to be so long. I just don't talk about it much.

10-22-2003, 10:38 PM	#34 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	Thank you to those who have shared their stories. It's a brave thing. I'll add my own to the pile. My first serious relationship, in college. A sweet little thing, couldn't hurt a fly. We were like two peas in a pod, happy as clams. At least I was. She'd talked early on about serious relationship stuff, and almost three years in, we start looking around for an engagement ring. We also start working at the same place, and have already been living together for most of the relationship. We even work in the same department, as well as going to the same university, of course. We make friends with a young married couple, also co-workers, one of whom also works in our department. The husband is an okay guy. A little verbally harsh with his wife, but he never does or says anything that sets off any alarms in my head. I was blissfully ignorant. It's about three weeks before Valentine's Day, when I plan to propose to her. One morning, before work, I get woken up by a phone call from the wife. She tells me that my girlfriend has cheated with her husband. Now, the night before, she'd gone over to their place on the pretense of using their printer because ours was broken. She came back at 1 AM and took a shower right as she got home. I'd called earlier and no one answered. I get the hell out of Dodge and stayed with a my parents for a few days to clear my head. But I come back and we try to work things out. A week later she tells me she's not in love with me anymore and thinks we should separate. I had no idea how much she had drifted from me, nor how she'd been shaking her ass around at work. But the day I left permanently, she went to him and told him she was available, and they proceeded to fuck like rabid monkeys. She goes on to sleep with other guys at work. At no point does she show a significant sign of remorse, doubt, guilt, shame, etc. I go from the verge of proposing to her to this. Like flipping a switch. Her, of all people, who couldn't hurt a fly. That kind of thing stays with you. I couldn't eat for a week. A bitter irony is that I'd gained 35 pounds over the course of the relationship, then lost it all and more on Atkins in the space of several weeks. She told me later that she'd always thought she was a bad person and didn't deserve good things. Coming from her, it's like I'd never even known her to begin with. Because of the job market and living with my parents in the ass-end of the suburbs, I had little social life to speak of and entered into a forced voyage of celibacy, with drama and depression along the way. I parted ways with a good friend and burned a bridge elsewhere, however justified that may have been. But I have a salaried job now, and am looking for a place in the city. Light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to be so long. I just don't talk about it much.