numist

oberon, that was about 3 years ago. This is probably a topic for some other time, I dont want to hijack someone elses thread, but suffice to say after being psychologically incapacitated for a year, I met my current g/f and spend a few years on the mend. Fine now, been with Carrie for a year and a couple of months now. It royally sucked and if it werent for Carrie, I definitely would not be here. My first g/f (to give her a name, Alicia) had every reason to give up life when she went back to Hong Kong. She had some serious emotional issues that she unloaded on me, which made it all the harder to let it all go. Her parents abused her, and she was raped a block from her house. She was so strong to still be alive when I was with her, but when she committed suicide, I lost all hope in life and would go through attacks when I couldn't even move, I could only think of her. Even now sometimes I can't help but think of her, but I'm held back because I remember what I still have to live for, even if she isnt in my life anymore, I still have the memory, as long as I don't let it control me.

So yeah... Im alright.

Again, depends on how you lose. Its very strange being in love with two people. I would rather have never gone through it, because its my nature to hold back emotion, but in the end it has played a huge part in who I am today.

Knowing what love is though, definitely worth all the pain in the world... It really is. I guess I should change my answer, but most of the time I cant decide. Love is forever intermixed with pain now.

Anyway, thats enough...