Asian parenting is considered harsh in the west, but it is the standard for us - not only normal but necessary. Being caned as a child, for things as seemingly trivial as refusing (or simply being unable to) memorize multiplication tables, is commonplace for myself and my friends. Being caned, and then being caned more for crying - caned until we stopped crying (oxymoronic, isn't it?) These are not isolated cases, this is standard practice.
Children are taught from very early on to respect authority - primarily the male head of household. Children that have been brought up through true Asian parenting are easy to recognize - they will rarely speak out of turn, they are well behaved, and do not whine or cry - taking a 6-year old to a restaurant is simple, because they are so still and quiet they might as well not exist. The reason is simple - any deviation from good behavior results in a round of painful caning once they are at home.
Studying hard and obeying your parents are what we are conditioned to do - if harsh words won't do it, then beating will. Unless your parents think you deserve fun, going out and having fun is not part of the program. 'Living your teenage years' (a concept I don't believe in or have any respect for) is not part of the program. For the first 18 years of your life, anything that is not expressly approved by the parental units is not part of the damn program.
This is the way it has been done since before the US even existed. Whether it angers you or not, seems right to you or not, this is the reality of our childhood.
And regardless of what you or the rest of western society believes, a truly Asian child is never truly free of his/her parents. Being ordered around and scolded at age 20 is not uncommon or strange. Be careful that you do not attempt to apply your own beliefs and ego to their lifestyle too readily. This is a case where "you cannot see my daughter again" almost definitely means just that.
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Sure I have a heart; it's floating in a jar in my closet, along with my tonsils, my appendix, and all of the other useless organs I ripped out.
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