Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - And like that... I'm in a long distance relationship

wry1 · 10-05-2003, 10:39 AM

Unlike skysooner and motdakasha, I agree with the majority that you really need to put yourself past this one.

It's not a question of fidelity. For all you, I, and everybody else on this forum knows, she's been the perfect model of chastity and virtue while away. I'm not questioning that in the least.

What I am questioning is her commitment to the relationship. I too would gladly spend time either for free or cheap with my friends all over the globe if I had the opportunity and the means to get there; I wouldn't, however, be so blatantly inconsiderate as to ignore anyone I was in a relationship with - especially to the point of giving virtually no notice of my impending departure.

Factor in her inability or unwillingness to share her experiences with you (either via e-mail or by phone, letter, carrier-pigeon) and her vague hints at possibly coming back sometime, and I get a picture of someone whose focus does not include you....except as a side-thought.

Yes, I know you got an e-mail. And yes, I know she commiserated with you on your recent turn of bad luck. But did she share anything with you from her end? Did she include you in her life? That's the key thing that's missing; the thing that makes you want to delete that letter and join the Coast Guard. She'll share in your life enough to be "there" in a minimal sense, but you've been excluded from hers in a most abrupt and complete fashion.

Sorry motdakasha and skysooner.....I just can't see why you'd expect him to stay shut-out of her life.

Harshaw, do the gut-check. If this strikes a chord with you, do what you feel is right. I'm only giving an opinion, and only you can make the decision what should be done next. Just know that you'll always be supported here on the TFP.

10-05-2003, 10:39 AM	#38 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Unlike skysooner and motdakasha, I agree with the majority that you really need to put yourself past this one. It's not a question of fidelity. For all you, I, and everybody else on this forum knows, she's been the perfect model of chastity and virtue while away. I'm not questioning that in the least. What I am questioning is her commitment to the relationship. I too would gladly spend time either for free or cheap with my friends all over the globe if I had the opportunity and the means to get there; I wouldn't, however, be so blatantly inconsiderate as to ignore anyone I was in a relationship with - especially to the point of giving virtually no notice of my impending departure. Factor in her inability or unwillingness to share her experiences with you (either via e-mail or by phone, letter, carrier-pigeon) and her vague hints at possibly coming back sometime, and I get a picture of someone whose focus does not include you....except as a side-thought. Yes, I know you got an e-mail. And yes, I know she commiserated with you on your recent turn of bad luck. But did she share anything with you from her end? Did she include you in her life? That's the key thing that's missing; the thing that makes you want to delete that letter and join the Coast Guard. She'll share in your life enough to be "there" in a minimal sense, but you've been excluded from hers in a most abrupt and complete fashion. Sorry motdakasha and skysooner.....I just can't see why you'd expect him to stay shut-out of her life. Harshaw, do the gut-check. If this strikes a chord with you, do what you feel is right. I'm only giving an opinion, and only you can make the decision what should be done next. Just know that you'll always be supported here on the TFP.