Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Getting a girl to see you as more then just a friend.

wry1 · 09-28-2003, 08:55 AM

The biggest obstacle to her seeing you as something other than a friend is her. There's nothing you can do about it at this point in time - just let nature take its course. I'd say your odds are about 70/30.....against. Sorry, it's true.

From her standpoint, she's most likely looking at other guys because she's got you as her friend already. She has the benefit of all those long conversations, the close intimacy (yet without the physical intimacy) of your relationship, and all this is already hers.

.....Why would she want to change that?

The only thing I could possibly recommend to you would be this (but be warned, it's not an easy step): Tell her that you really think it would be best to scale back the amount of time you spend on the phone (those hour or more calls), the time spent together and any other specific things she does that get your juices flowing. Tell her the truth: that all this interaction is effecting the way you view the relationship, and since you are starting to look at her as more "girlfriend material" than friend, it might be best to cool things down a bit.

Now here's where things could get tricky.....this could backfire. You always run the risk that she really isn't able to change her mind-set about your relationship, and will distance herself as a result. However, most women form their bonds with others (even friendships) quite strongly, so I doubt that she'll be all that willing to just sever things and move on.

The hardest part for you would be in sticking to your guns. I'm not saying to cut the girl off, but end your phone conversations after 10 minutes or so. Or plan your time together so that there's something to do instead of just "hanging out"....now this is a clever subtrefuge on your part, since planning things and doing them is an awful lot like a date! Oh wait, it IS a date!

That's my advice, take it or leave it. I hope things work out for the two of you.....

09-28-2003, 08:55 AM	#5 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	The biggest obstacle to her seeing you as something other than a friend is her. There's nothing you can do about it at this point in time - just let nature take its course. I'd say your odds are about 70/30.....against. Sorry, it's true. From her standpoint, she's most likely looking at other guys because she's got you as her friend already. She has the benefit of all those long conversations, the close intimacy (yet without the physical intimacy) of your relationship, and all this is already hers. .....Why would she want to change that? The only thing I could possibly recommend to you would be this (but be warned, it's not an easy step): Tell her that you really think it would be best to scale back the amount of time you spend on the phone (those hour or more calls), the time spent together and any other specific things she does that get your juices flowing. Tell her the truth: that all this interaction is effecting the way you view the relationship, and since you are starting to look at her as more "girlfriend material" than friend, it might be best to cool things down a bit. Now here's where things could get tricky.....this could backfire. You always run the risk that she really isn't able to change her mind-set about your relationship, and will distance herself as a result. However, most women form their bonds with others (even friendships) quite strongly, so I doubt that she'll be all that willing to just sever things and move on. The hardest part for you would be in sticking to your guns. I'm not saying to cut the girl off, but end your phone conversations after 10 minutes or so. Or plan your time together so that there's something to do instead of just "hanging out"....now this is a clever subtrefuge on your part, since planning things and doing them is an awful lot like a date! Oh wait, it IS a date! That's my advice, take it or leave it. I hope things work out for the two of you.....