|
O Pungently Reek-Ridden Chubster, Leader of the Stinking Troublebot Horde, I have bad, really bad and horrible news.
First, rumor has it in the scientific community that the ‘Big One’ is about to hit California. I killed a few weakly scientists, but they still seem to maintain their position, therefore I take them at their word. We should probably start gathering all the good stuff and head for the other side of the San Andreas Fault.
Secondly, Amnesty International has petitioned the United Nations for Military Action against the Horde. They claim the Horde has been taking people against their will, falsely imprisoning them and doing things to them that are not even mentioned in the Geneva Convention. (Apparently no one was as creative as we are.) This should not worry us too much though as it take forever for the UN to do anything.
Lastly and worst of all Stinky Big-Boy Boss of the Horde, sources have revealed to me that there is a traitor in our midst. Someone has been siphoning off money to PETA and letting some of our captives go free (and not charging them for it). I believe this person has been videotaping out exploits and sending them to whiney groups that support freedom and other such ilk-ridden garbage. This person also has been plotting with foreign militaries to overthrow and kill YOU O Stinky One in Charge.
We must rise to these challenges and smite the traitor in our ranks.
|