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Communication communication communication. Talk about it. Nothing in the world is wrong with an "open" relationship, or any other relationship which you BOTH agree upon. You already have a contractual obligation with you marriage. You have the right to modify that agreement as you see fit so long as you BOTH agree and enter into the modifications voluntarily. If you're not comfortable with something, it's your obligation to COMMUNICATE that to her. Explain why. If you don't know why, figure it out. You've got to do everything with some purpose, and you're far more effective if you are aware of the REAL purpose. A swinging lifestyle can be great if you both remember that your primary contract is with each other. Integrity is following up your values with actions that demonstrate and further those values. Figure out what it is that you value, what it is that you value in her, and keep those as the core of your relationship. Sex with another couple is not necessarily so different that mixed doubles tennis, providing you are both that comfortable with it. You DO have the right to disapprove of a situation, but you cannot expect her, or anyone else to simply "know" what you want. If you partied with another dude once, without discussing the parameters of that, then it's very likely she is unclear of the boundaries. Discuss it, make it clear. Remember that she, too, has the right to object to a situation or individual. and No means no... from you, from her, from anyone else you are forming a bond with.
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Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies
like a banana.
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