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1. Sew a pocket onto the back of a t-shirt - right between the shoulder blades.
2. Insert tennis ball into pocket.
3. Sew pocket closed.
4. Have roomate wear t-shirt to bed every night
5. No sleeping on back = no snoring
6. No Quasimoto jokes.
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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