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Burnt fucking coffee
I smoked a lot tonight
About a pack of cigarettes and I can still fucking breath
All you people will never understand me and why I do this to myself
I want cancer
I want to die
It’s cool that you listen to jazz and read poetry
It’s cool ‘cause it’s not cool
Which in turn makes it cool
Or just makes you trendy and emotional
That annoying loud screaming that they all call music drowns out the thoughts of spit-covered bodies that always find their way back into my head.
You gave him a hug when you left and didn’t even look in my direction
At least I think
I wasn’t paying any attention
I really do love you though
I really do care if you’re okay or not
Even though you wouldn’t be okay because of something that I did or didn’t do
Really…
It was so long ago
And I’m not one to hold a grudge
We can put this all behind us now can’t we?
A fresh start
Jazz and really bad wannabe poets
Drinking red wine out of an old jelly jar
Watching independent films so as to get more in touch with ourselves
Sucking down that burnt coffee in the cool café on the corner
Smoking and smoking just so you can watch me die
You want to watch me die
I see you laying in your darkened room staring at the freshly painted ceiling smiling at how much easier your life would be if I would just go away.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
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