Well, Lurkette, this wouldn't be the first time you've said what I would have, and done so more eloquently... :P
Sleepyjack, here's the deal from a guy's perspective:
1.) The whole "bump and grind" thing is the most predominant form of dancing for people under 30. Therefore, while she may be backing it up, that may be because that's the only thing she really knows how to do.
2.) Girls rarely like to be touched if they haven't invited said contact. On the dance floor, it's damned tough to determine whether you've been invited or not.
Given these two points, I'd say take the girls you like to the bar, order a drink, or merely ask her to sit one out with you. If she wants something more than a dance, she'll accept, and you've got a chance to score points for personality as well as style.
Oh, and in response to your statement about being turned down...
Who cares? You're out having a good time. If she doesn't want to have a good time with you, her loss. After all, females are letting you dance with them.... So you've got to have something going for ya.
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I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons.
I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and voice of reason.
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son.
They're one and the same I must isolate you, isolate and save you from yourself."
- A Perfect Circle
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