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Sound less like moral issues than practical issues. Or etiquette issues.
I'd say the safest rule is "hands off" but that doesn't mean you can't respond to their moves with a little pressure of your own, or a little bump and grind.
I'd say grabbing their ass is a little risky, but what about lightly brushing their arm, or their back, as if by accident? Sexier, to start with, and if they don't appreciate it you can pretend it was just an accident. Hard to pretend you grabbed someone's ass by accident.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
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