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dod123 · 07-31-2003, 10:30 AM

Ooo, the notorious 'friend zone'. Before i say anything else, let me share my experience with female friends. To put myself in perspective, i usually do the whole physical attractiveness rating on the 1-10 thing. Here's how i rate. It's really simple. When i look at someone, if my eyes are drawn toward them, they rate above five. If i look at someone and think 'there is a person' they rate at five. If i look at them and tend to look away.... well, that's not important. I consider myself five. I'd LIKE to think i'm not ooogly, and yet, i'm far from handsome. I'm me, i'm happy with that.

Personality wise, i would say that i'm intelligent (or so i'm told O.o) and i'm... reserved outgoing. For the longest time i was quite shy. Dating wise, i'm nothing special. No girl would ever look at me and go "gee i want him". On the flip side, when they get to know me, usually it's more of a "gee, he's kinda funny". Essentially, unless i make a move, i would never get a girl. They just never think about it. I'd definitely listen to Angela. She's right on. Having friends is great. However, having an SO is something special too. Asking someone out doesn't mean destroying a friendship at all. In fact, i enjoy going out for the heck of going out. It doesn't need to be romantic, or a *sweats* "should i kiss her at the doorstep???"

In fact, a couple weeks ago my gf went back home for the weekend (3 hours away) and me, being lonely and all alone in the apartment, called up a girl i had met at school and done some studying with. I said hey, what's up, what ya doing, how about we go get something to eat tomorrow. Next day we had lunch at at Olive Garden (i wouldn't let her pay, that's just me though, since it was casual it's perfectly fine to split the check). Had a great pleasant conversation, and went our separate ways.

Now, the question on your mind is, did my gf know? OF COURSE. It was a social outing. However, the point is. If i wasn't already taken, i could easily have been a date. Neither of us had expectations. Sometimes a date is just a date. Ask a friend out for lunch. Or as Angela said, TELL her you want to have lunch with her. Don't expect too much, and it's just not a big deal. If it goes well, ask her out for dinner. You won't know, if you don't try. It really doesn't have to be a big deal. There's a lot of good tips here. And really, you DO have plenty of time.

P.S. Sorry, i tend to rant long pointless posts. Oh, and if you're wondering how i DID manage to get my gf... that's a LONG complicated story about meeting on the internet, cultivating a 1600 mile relationship, that has now lasted for more than 3 years. O.o

P.P.S. There is NOTHING wrong with you.

07-31-2003, 10:30 AM	#27 (permalink)
dod123 Upright Location: US	Ooo, the notorious 'friend zone'. Before i say anything else, let me share my experience with female friends. To put myself in perspective, i usually do the whole physical attractiveness rating on the 1-10 thing. Here's how i rate. It's really simple. When i look at someone, if my eyes are drawn toward them, they rate above five. If i look at someone and think 'there is a person' they rate at five. If i look at them and tend to look away.... well, that's not important. I consider myself five. I'd LIKE to think i'm not ooogly, and yet, i'm far from handsome. I'm me, i'm happy with that. Personality wise, i would say that i'm intelligent (or so i'm told O.o) and i'm... reserved outgoing. For the longest time i was quite shy. Dating wise, i'm nothing special. No girl would ever look at me and go "gee i want him". On the flip side, when they get to know me, usually it's more of a "gee, he's kinda funny". Essentially, unless i make a move, i would never get a girl. They just never think about it. I'd definitely listen to Angela. She's right on. Having friends is great. However, having an SO is something special too. Asking someone out doesn't mean destroying a friendship at all. In fact, i enjoy going out for the heck of going out. It doesn't need to be romantic, or a sweats "should i kiss her at the doorstep???" In fact, a couple weeks ago my gf went back home for the weekend (3 hours away) and me, being lonely and all alone in the apartment, called up a girl i had met at school and done some studying with. I said hey, what's up, what ya doing, how about we go get something to eat tomorrow. Next day we had lunch at at Olive Garden (i wouldn't let her pay, that's just me though, since it was casual it's perfectly fine to split the check). Had a great pleasant conversation, and went our separate ways. Now, the question on your mind is, did my gf know? OF COURSE. It was a social outing. However, the point is. If i wasn't already taken, i could easily have been a date. Neither of us had expectations. Sometimes a date is just a date. Ask a friend out for lunch. Or as Angela said, TELL her you want to have lunch with her. Don't expect too much, and it's just not a big deal. If it goes well, ask her out for dinner. You won't know, if you don't try. It really doesn't have to be a big deal. There's a lot of good tips here. And really, you DO have plenty of time. P.S. Sorry, i tend to rant long pointless posts. Oh, and if you're wondering how i DID manage to get my gf... that's a LONG complicated story about meeting on the internet, cultivating a 1600 mile relationship, that has now lasted for more than 3 years. O.o P.P.S. There is NOTHING wrong with you. __________________ "I may be newb, but at least i'm not stupid O.o"