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One time when I was tending bar, I "overheard" a girl telling her friend "No- not tequila - it makes me too horny. If I have a shot of tequila, I'll have to take the bartender home and fuck his brains out"
Needless to say, by the time she was done talking, the shots were poured and in front of them.
She was true to her word (although I'd like to think she left me <i>some</i> brains).
Another time (same bar) a girl would start sucking her finger whenever she was talking to me - she explained she had an oral fixation and asked if I had anything she could suck on. It was time for my break so we went outside to her car, where she immediately gave me one of the most memorable blowjobs ever. No sooner had she lifted her head up than a car pulled up beside us. It was her boyfriend's best friend - she introduced us, and I reached my hand out the window and shook his hand. Luckily he didn't get any closer, 'cause my pants were still around my ankles.
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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