Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Flabbergasted - Having a girl over without telling girlfriend

bryan888 · 07-28-2003, 06:05 AM

Spent time in a relationship with a lovely girl once who's only problem was she had jealousy issues and saw EVERY other female who crossed my radar as a potential threat to her happiness. Needless to say, it lead to the demise of our partnership eventually, but during the time we were together, I spent time with my female friends, purely platonic, and never felt a need to disclose this information to her, knowing it would only lead to trouble and a serious fight.

Was it wrong not telling her? Did I unconsciously know my relationship with her wouldn't last due to her insecurities, so why stir her shitpot of jealousy? Did I know in my own mind I wasn't cheating, wasn't doing anything wrong, and thus shouldn't - and didn't - feel any guilt about my actions? Am I just a heartless ahole who could care less about others feelings and emotions? (pretty sure the last one isn't true.....relatively sure at least. Hell, the fact I HAVE any female friends at all may prove that one to be false.)

The answer to these questions, I don't know, nor do I care to spend very much time trieing to figure out, but this I DO know;
I was not cheating, at least not in the classic sense of the term. I enjoyed the time I spent with my female friends. I helped them find understanding and truth in relationships they were having, and in turn they helped me also when things got crazy in mine. We supported each other, we laughed together, we shared news, gossip, and great discoveries, and never once did we cross the line physically or emotionally. And NEVER, EVER did we bump uglies with each other - not even accidentally.

Yes, it is possible to have a friendship with the opposite sex. Firmly confirmed in my own mind. Yes, it's best if your significant other knows about it, but is it an absolute necessity? No. Loving someone doesn't mean you must expose every detail of your life, big and small, to the other person or else you are a liar. We are all entitled to a certain degree of privacy, even secrets, in our own lives, even within the boundaries of a relationship.

If you masturbate without telling your partner you did, are you lieing, or just exercising your right to a little personal privacy?

07-28-2003, 06:05 AM	#14 (permalink)
bryan888 Crazy Location: The Sunny South - ATL!	Spent time in a relationship with a lovely girl once who's only problem was she had jealousy issues and saw EVERY other female who crossed my radar as a potential threat to her happiness. Needless to say, it lead to the demise of our partnership eventually, but during the time we were together, I spent time with my female friends, purely platonic, and never felt a need to disclose this information to her, knowing it would only lead to trouble and a serious fight. Was it wrong not telling her? Did I unconsciously know my relationship with her wouldn't last due to her insecurities, so why stir her shitpot of jealousy? Did I know in my own mind I wasn't cheating, wasn't doing anything wrong, and thus shouldn't - and didn't - feel any guilt about my actions? Am I just a heartless ahole who could care less about others feelings and emotions? (pretty sure the last one isn't true.....relatively sure at least. Hell, the fact I HAVE any female friends at all may prove that one to be false.) The answer to these questions, I don't know, nor do I care to spend very much time trieing to figure out, but this I DO know; I was not cheating, at least not in the classic sense of the term. I enjoyed the time I spent with my female friends. I helped them find understanding and truth in relationships they were having, and in turn they helped me also when things got crazy in mine. We supported each other, we laughed together, we shared news, gossip, and great discoveries, and never once did we cross the line physically or emotionally. And NEVER, EVER did we bump uglies with each other - not even accidentally. Yes, it is possible to have a friendship with the opposite sex. Firmly confirmed in my own mind. Yes, it's best if your significant other knows about it, but is it an absolute necessity? No. Loving someone doesn't mean you must expose every detail of your life, big and small, to the other person or else you are a liar. We are all entitled to a certain degree of privacy, even secrets, in our own lives, even within the boundaries of a relationship. If you masturbate without telling your partner you did, are you lieing, or just exercising your right to a little personal privacy? __________________ It's only kinky the first time......