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Do you really want this woman? You said monogomy is important to you. If she is willing to cheat on her current bf with you, sooner or later she will cheat on you.
As for open relationships -- my sister and her husband have been married over 9 years. They are polygamist and very committed to each other. There are a lot of "poly" sites out there. The key is open communication! (Not something I could do, but it works for them.)
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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