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"I think your first step is to sit down with ratbastid and talk about all these very real concerns, what you expect and what he expects. Where are the limits? "
Very good advice. Communication and making sure you both know your limits and expectations are best to ensure a successful adventure. Dei37 and I have tried swapping with other couples. I would say that whole thing has strengthed us rather than hurt us. We were pretty dedicated to each other to begin with. It did bring up some issues probably sooner than they would have come up otherwise but maybe that was better in that they didn't get to be big problems before we solved them.
When I first expeienced a woman it was a powerful experience. There is no way to understand the way it feels. If you are already friends with this woman that may make it easier.
Also We have met one couple that we swapped with. Since then we have not done anything sexually but we see then a couple times a week and there is no tension. We are free to flirt and know there is no pressure. This could simply be a way to open up your friendships and feel more relaxed. I'll admit the first time we swapped and then later met the couple in the mall it was a strange feeling thinking - "Man! I fucked with this couple!" That wears off fast and after that things are just fun and exciting.
Whatever you do be completely open and honest about things and COMMUNICATE. If you know your bounderies and where everyone stands you'll be fine. Good Luck
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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