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Well, I know people who have open marriages that work, I also know people who have tried it and it ruined them.
The difference? Communication Communication Communication along with emotional stability.
I think your first step is to sit down with ratbastid and talk about all these very real concerns, what you expect and what he expects. Where are the limits?
And yes, ask yourselves honestly, can this be done without emotions and other expectations developing?
If you want to procede, then you have to talk to your friend and ask the same hard questions and lay out exactly what you two are wanting from this, how will things be after, etc. From the sound of it, perhaps the four of you should get together and have a frank and honest discussion.
IF and ONLY IF you can do these things and feel positive, do I recommend proceding with this.
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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis
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