suviko

I am 23, been living with the same man from '98 after dating him some time before that.. And we are not even engaged. I have gotten disillusioned with early marriages and commitments as the few couples I know who have married before 20 have gotten divorced by now and one couple who dated from high school, 7 years of dating and living together for the latter part, got married and then she found a new bf and got divorce in the same year. Some young people have idealistic view on the marriage thing, like it makes stuff more real and adult and solves problems like boyfriend running around with friends in the bars late every weekend. Right. People need to grow up and sometimes it means leaving behind a person who is going to act like a teen till 35 if you want a family early in your life. Common-law couples are pretty standard phase from dating to marriage in Scandinavia and I think it's a good way to see will the life together work out. I have never even considered not having sex and not living together before marrying.

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Second question, I mean this in no offensive way and hopefully it won't be taken offensively. But in today's society I see a trend of the man needing the woman more than the woman needing the man, what's up with dat?

The EOCD research studies on reading & state of education & learning just came out. Girls are doing better than boys in all countries in all fiels but maths. Just my idea of what is happening: boys are trained to become good fathers and workers and girls are brought up to be mothers and workers. But in many societies, being a dad is same as being a good worker and earning enough money outside the family. Usually any given woman doesn't want a father like that for her kids but thinks the man should also be around and help raising the kids & around the house. Men haven't yet adapted to this change since women started working outside the home and got independent and started voicing their opinion what sort of father/husband they want.