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Old 06-27-2011, 04:55 PM   #16 (permalink)
purplelirpa
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Location: Indiana
I moved to a new city last year and have had great success with meetup.com and okcupid. From sales, I look at socialization as a numbers game. All of networking is that way. You invest time in filtering out all of the prospective friends until you find 3-5 solid ones. It does take time to do it, but don't feel too much pressure. One thing that got me out of paying attention to my lack of confidence was to focus on the process and staying consistent with it. The more I focused on the process, the less each individual rejection (or crazy person) mattered.

Your process could be go to 1 meetup per week and meet 1 person from okc per week. Start slow, and get in the habit of chit chatting with people wherever you go. You likely won't make friends with them, but it's nice to pass the time and it helps you practice. Keep a log of your progress. It helps to see the activity you are doing to meet your goals.

Once you have found your friends, remember that they are like gardens and need to be fed--with communication. Texts, calls, facebook messages, whatever you like. But try to touch base with them on a weekly basis or so (if you don't see them every day or every week). You may need to keep track of your communications at first, if you are like I am and often drop off the planet for days to weeks at a time.

I've met many people, and only have about 3 solid friends, but several acquaintances. One of my acquaintances gave me a referral to a good mechanic, and got me a discount on some auto repairs. Another one sends me invites to her weekly group activities (it helps to make friends with people who are naturally planners and extroverted, they do a lot of the work of assembling people so you don't have to). I just moved in with 1 of the friends and she has many, many friends and she hosts and goes to contra dances where she is consistently interacting with a community of people. I go along sometimes, and reap the benefits of all of her socializing.

Good luck!
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