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My favorite comebacks are all courtesy of Winston Churchill.
Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
Also, not a comeback, but I really enjoy the line "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"
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twisted no more
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