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				News You Can Use
			 
 Year to date statistics on Airport Screening from the Department of Homeland Security
 Terrorist Plots Discovered 0
 Transvestites 133
 Hernias 1,485
 Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
 Enlarged Prostates 8,249
 Breast Implants 59,350
 Natural Blondes 3
 
				__________________"We were wrong, terribly wrong.  (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations.  It could not be done and it was not done."
 - Robert S. McNamara
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 "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
 We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
 - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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 never wrestle with a pig.
 you both get dirty;
 the pig likes it.
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