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If you are married, you should first cover yourself and document it all no matter how painful. Even if it means hiring a private detective to take pictures, or get a hidden camera so you can record and document it. You need to protect your assets and yourself always.
Do what you can to lock down all liquid assets, credit cards.
This may sound harsh but right now she from what you are saying is not taking responsibility for her actions or even partial responsibility. It shows she is already one step out the door. And the bad lay comment after testicular cancer is honestly just cruel.
If you both really want to continue the relationship you both need therapy, you should both research and find a therapist, I would recommend couples and 1 on 1 therapy (with different therapist unless the therapist sees both of you still 1 on 1 and couple).
I feel for you, and wish you the best, it is not a pleasant road.
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Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
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