Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Need some free advice on young adult at home

Cimarron29414 · 12-02-2010, 08:43 AM

jewels,

Let me start by saying that it sounds to me like you've done a good job, and that it is refreshing to see an active parent. I tend to see your side based on a few factors:

1) I only have a toddler so my protective instinct is at its peak.
2) There is no magic that turns an 18-year-old into a responsible adult. It's just a number the State uses to change one's legal status.
3) The old-school notion of "my house, my rules."

Having said that, I think another approach might be to simply let the curfew be an a nightly compromise, rather than a static value. Just ask her each night how much time she needs and have her understand that that means be home by then, no matter what! Some nights, it could be 10 and others it could be later. Let's face it, all we really want to know is that, if they aren't home by X, then they might be in trouble. As long as everyone involved knows what X is, the value becomes less relevant.

12-02-2010, 08:43 AM	#27 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	jewels, Let me start by saying that it sounds to me like you've done a good job, and that it is refreshing to see an active parent. I tend to see your side based on a few factors: 1) I only have a toddler so my protective instinct is at its peak. 2) There is no magic that turns an 18-year-old into a responsible adult. It's just a number the State uses to change one's legal status. 3) The old-school notion of "my house, my rules." Having said that, I think another approach might be to simply let the curfew be an a nightly compromise, rather than a static value. Just ask her each night how much time she needs and have her understand that that means be home by then, no matter what! Some nights, it could be 10 and others it could be later. Let's face it, all we really want to know is that, if they aren't home by X, then they might be in trouble. As long as everyone involved knows what X is, the value becomes less relevant. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."