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oliver9184 · 11-06-2010, 08:55 AM

(It's a longer post than I intended. There's some slight digression and anecdotes in here but it's all about sick days.)

All this talk of using calling in sick because you are sick (or your kids are) makes me feel a bit bad. It isn't the case with what I'm doing for a job now but my general outlook until recently - and that of most people I hung out with - was that sick days were wasted if you used them when you actually were sick. Depends on circumstances and what the work is but as long as being at work sucks more than being at home you might as well go into work and get it over with even if you really feel awful. I'm talking about call center jobs and bottom level office jobs at places you don't want a career, which is all the jobs I've ever had until now. If I had a fulfilling job in a field I'm interested in that paid well I'm sure I wouldn't have that attitude. And as I say, I've got a gig now that's a bit different and might have a bit of a future so I'm not throwing sickies anymore.

Calling in sick for me and my buddies was usually saved for either planned long weekends when legit holiday had been asked for and declined, or if holidays were all used up; or else unplanned heavy binge sessions that leaked over into the daylight hours of the day I was supposed to work - usually Monday or the Tuesday after a bank holiday. One guy I knew worked at a call center and stayed up drinking with a bunch of us. Everyone but him either had the next day off already or else called in sick at the appropriate time. He felt like he couldn't call in because he'd done so too many times recently (all bogus of course) and he had had warnings etc. So he goes to work having had no sleep for two days and a night, and having been drinking and more throughout up right until he has to start work. Doesn't even make the first hour before falling asleep in the middle of a call. Caught straight away of course, asked to justify himself, couldn't, shurgged, got fired. Very Bukowski. And very amusing but not really surprising, and totally his own fault.

Not counting the job I'm at now, I have had six different jobs in the four years since I left university - all shitty call center/office jobs. I took 40-50 sick days in that time, at a guess. A week or so of that was legit - broken wrist - and maybe two or three more days was for real bad stomach trouble but the rest was bogus. Sometimes you're calling in because of a hangover and you kid yourself THAT'S legit but it's not - you could go in but you just want a day off, you don't want to go in feeling like shit and have awful perky not hungover people looking at your awful face and smelling your horrid alco breath.

The past few years I've found there's subtle skills involved in throwing a sickie. Things that make it easier or more believable, excuses, etc... The best prep you can do is sound out your boss's attitude first. Try to listen to him/her dealing with someone else who's calling in. If he's not fussed and like "yeah ok, I hope you get well soon and call me again tomorrow if you can't come in again" you're on Easy Street. It's like he's inviting you to call in again tomorrow. (Why not? It all counts as one incidence and you can have five days without needing a doctor's note.) But if he's concerned, asking probing questions and the call lasts anything longer than a minute he's a hardass and you've definately got to have a solid story when you call in. When that employee comes back you keep your eye open for the 'back to work' interview - is that treated as a triviality and skimmed over, or - even better - totally skipped? Good. Do they go somewhere quiet for half an hour and come back looking pissed off or worried? Not good. So you scoped out the situation and decided to have a sick day. Deep breath. Story straight. The anticipation of the call is worse than actually making it. All you really need to say is "I don't feel well today so I'm not coming to work" and embellish things when you return but doing that feels more bald and transparent - more like open defiance which the manager, if he's in a belligerent mood or if someone else has called in too and he's short staffed, might almost see as a gauntlet thrown down. So pretend it. You know it's BS and probably he does too but a bit of play acting - nothing OTT - sweetens the pill for everyone.

No pretend 'illness' can be refuted outright - what does the boss know? He's not a doctor - but he can tell when you're obviously playing him. A favourite of mine, used once per manager for the last three or four I had, was that I had had two curries - a spicy Chinese and then an Indian later - on the same day, and now my gut's complaining about it loudly and painfully. Whatever excuse is used, avoid specifics and details that may have to be remembered later but have some truthful element to your story if at all possible, to make the telling easier.

11-06-2010, 08:55 AM	#22 (permalink)
oliver9184 Psycho	(It's a longer post than I intended. There's some slight digression and anecdotes in here but it's all about sick days.) All this talk of using calling in sick because you are sick (or your kids are) makes me feel a bit bad. It isn't the case with what I'm doing for a job now but my general outlook until recently - and that of most people I hung out with - was that sick days were wasted if you used them when you actually were sick. Depends on circumstances and what the work is but as long as being at work sucks more than being at home you might as well go into work and get it over with even if you really feel awful. I'm talking about call center jobs and bottom level office jobs at places you don't want a career, which is all the jobs I've ever had until now. If I had a fulfilling job in a field I'm interested in that paid well I'm sure I wouldn't have that attitude. And as I say, I've got a gig now that's a bit different and might have a bit of a future so I'm not throwing sickies anymore. Calling in sick for me and my buddies was usually saved for either planned long weekends when legit holiday had been asked for and declined, or if holidays were all used up; or else unplanned heavy binge sessions that leaked over into the daylight hours of the day I was supposed to work - usually Monday or the Tuesday after a bank holiday. One guy I knew worked at a call center and stayed up drinking with a bunch of us. Everyone but him either had the next day off already or else called in sick at the appropriate time. He felt like he couldn't call in because he'd done so too many times recently (all bogus of course) and he had had warnings etc. So he goes to work having had no sleep for two days and a night, and having been drinking and more throughout up right until he has to start work. Doesn't even make the first hour before falling asleep in the middle of a call. Caught straight away of course, asked to justify himself, couldn't, shurgged, got fired. Very Bukowski. And very amusing but not really surprising, and totally his own fault. Not counting the job I'm at now, I have had six different jobs in the four years since I left university - all shitty call center/office jobs. I took 40-50 sick days in that time, at a guess. A week or so of that was legit - broken wrist - and maybe two or three more days was for real bad stomach trouble but the rest was bogus. Sometimes you're calling in because of a hangover and you kid yourself THAT'S legit but it's not - you could go in but you just want a day off, you don't want to go in feeling like shit and have awful perky not hungover people looking at your awful face and smelling your horrid alco breath. The past few years I've found there's subtle skills involved in throwing a sickie. Things that make it easier or more believable, excuses, etc... The best prep you can do is sound out your boss's attitude first. Try to listen to him/her dealing with someone else who's calling in. If he's not fussed and like "yeah ok, I hope you get well soon and call me again tomorrow if you can't come in again" you're on Easy Street. It's like he's inviting you to call in again tomorrow. (Why not? It all counts as one incidence and you can have five days without needing a doctor's note.) But if he's concerned, asking probing questions and the call lasts anything longer than a minute he's a hardass and you've definately got to have a solid story when you call in. When that employee comes back you keep your eye open for the 'back to work' interview - is that treated as a triviality and skimmed over, or - even better - totally skipped? Good. Do they go somewhere quiet for half an hour and come back looking pissed off or worried? Not good. So you scoped out the situation and decided to have a sick day. Deep breath. Story straight. The anticipation of the call is worse than actually making it. All you really need to say is "I don't feel well today so I'm not coming to work" and embellish things when you return but doing that feels more bald and transparent - more like open defiance which the manager, if he's in a belligerent mood or if someone else has called in too and he's short staffed, might almost see as a gauntlet thrown down. So pretend it. You know it's BS and probably he does too but a bit of play acting - nothing OTT - sweetens the pill for everyone. No pretend 'illness' can be refuted outright - what does the boss know? He's not a doctor - but he can tell when you're obviously playing him. A favourite of mine, used once per manager for the last three or four I had, was that I had had two curries - a spicy Chinese and then an Indian later - on the same day, and now my gut's complaining about it loudly and painfully. Whatever excuse is used, avoid specifics and details that may have to be remembered later but have some truthful element to your story if at all possible, to make the telling easier.