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Plan9 · 10-30-2010, 12:52 AM

...But Her Armpit Isn't: The ZombieSquirrel Story.

Sorry.

...

Saw the title from the Ladies' Lounge and figured it was relevant to my current situation. I also wondered how other guys' experiences went.

Hypotheticals. Let's say I'm currently on an extended business trip. And then let's say I won't see my woman for several months, possibly longer. For the sake of argument, let's pretend that infidelity isn't in the picture this time and that she'll go the whole time I'm gone without getting laid and actually want me when I get home and I'm all overwhelmed by clean sidewalks, television, and flushing toilets all while sporting a baseball bat of pulsating Canadian bacon in my narrow britches. I'm thinking the first few hours when I get home are going to either be me trying to figure out what dumbass organized my file cabinet (only to later realize it was just the me from last year) or they'll resemble an endless rewind of several Fatal Attraction clips.

And not the violent parts. Ya know, the parts with the sex. Focus.

I didn't really have to deal with this issue (or can't remember it due to the particular coping mechanism) when I was in the military so much because of how bad things went when I got home. Thinking back to my last time away from a partner for several months, I recall it feeling like I was hooking up with a brand new girl and doing amazingly well in every department. It was like riding a bike but better, almost too easy. Like having the cheat sheet to a really difficult test. There is a certain rush of novelty involved and I can't say that I mind it. I also got kinda turned on by thinking that this person actually waited for me. I'm probably way off, but I figure it's a similar experience for many men who've been "away at sea" and come home to the little lady.

How has TFP dealt with extended absences in steady relationships? I'm sure this is covered in many other threads, but I wanna limit the discussion strictly to that awkward moment right after you hug where your loins are stirring and you're hankering for a double serving of extra sloppy thrustwiches.

10-30-2010, 12:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Her Vagina is on Sabbatical ...But Her Armpit Isn't: The ZombieSquirrel Story. Sorry. ... Saw the title from the Ladies' Lounge and figured it was relevant to my current situation. I also wondered how other guys' experiences went. Hypotheticals. Let's say I'm currently on an extended business trip. And then let's say I won't see my woman for several months, possibly longer. For the sake of argument, let's pretend that infidelity isn't in the picture this time and that she'll go the whole time I'm gone without getting laid and actually want me when I get home and I'm all overwhelmed by clean sidewalks, television, and flushing toilets all while sporting a baseball bat of pulsating Canadian bacon in my narrow britches. I'm thinking the first few hours when I get home are going to either be me trying to figure out what dumbass organized my file cabinet (only to later realize it was just the me from last year) or they'll resemble an endless rewind of several Fatal Attraction clips. And not the violent parts. Ya know, the parts with the sex. Focus. I didn't really have to deal with this issue (or can't remember it due to the particular coping mechanism) when I was in the military so much because of how bad things went when I got home. Thinking back to my last time away from a partner for several months, I recall it feeling like I was hooking up with a brand new girl and doing amazingly well in every department. It was like riding a bike but better, almost too easy. Like having the cheat sheet to a really difficult test. There is a certain rush of novelty involved and I can't say that I mind it. I also got kinda turned on by thinking that this person actually waited for me. I'm probably way off, but I figure it's a similar experience for many men who've been "away at sea" and come home to the little lady. How has TFP dealt with extended absences in steady relationships? I'm sure this is covered in many other threads, but I wanna limit the discussion strictly to that awkward moment right after you hug where your loins are stirring and you're hankering for a double serving of extra sloppy thrustwiches. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 10-30-2010 at 05:38 AM.. Reason: ...that mile-long run-on gets to stay.