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Threat #3 - Obese Carry Advocates
This kind of hypocrisy undermines one of the core values of the right to bear argument, the ability to defend yourself with a firearm. All over the net you will find these behemoths instructing you on how to conceal your .460 S&W under an XXL "Co-ed Naked Bass Fishing Team" T-shirt. These people apparently value their lives so much as to carry a firearm in their low crime Midwestern town, where the chances of being mugged are roughly the same of being attacked by an elephant, yet they ignore heart disease, which kills 40% of people in America? One can't help but question their motives here, especially to a gun grabber that probably despises McDonald's every bit as much as barrel shrouds and Black Talons.
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Customer: "Good morrow, shop keep. Might I trouble you for a Glock this fine day?"
Gun Store Proprietor: "Surly, my good sir! First I must ask for you to sign this form and then return three days hence for the weapon... but alas! My fine lad, you seem a bit portly if I may be so bold. Might I inquire as to your body fat percentage?"
Customer: "You might, shop keep, but for what reason?"
Gun Store Proprietor: "The risk you seem to face isn't from an armed enemy but rather from the deadly foe LDL cholesterol! I fear you shall not find armament from danger here this day. I respectfully suggest you take your currency and find your armament with a dietitian and personal trainer. "
Customer: "Well shit."