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uncle phil · 09-22-2010, 02:11 AM

So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads; he'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.

Anyway, this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother. "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads," he begs her. "I'm pissed off being so visible to predators. The stress is like, killing me, you know?"

"Okay" says the fairy godmother, who whips out her magic wand and goes:
"Abracapokus! You're brown!"

The toad looks down and sees that he is brown ! Except for his weenie, which is still yellow.

"Hang about lady," he says to the fairy godmother. "My pecker's still yellow!"
"Yeah, well I don't do weenies," she says. "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." So the toad thanks her and hops off on his way.

There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother (yes okay it's a coincidence, but it's true).

"Fairy Godmother! You're just the person I need!" says the purple bear. "I can't pull any bearesses cos they don't want to be seen with me on account of the hunters. They can spot me from a mile off."

Being a fairly nice fairy godmother, she takes out her magic wand. "Oh for goodness sake, what is the matter with you around here." she says. And with that, she yells: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!"

The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown. Except for his goolies, which remain purple.

"Hold up sweetheart!", he says to the fairy godmother, "My goolies are still purple!"

"Yeah, well I don't do those goolie things," she replies, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that."

"Well that's just dandy, isn't it?" the bear replies. "How the hell do I find the Wizard of Oz?"

"Easy," says the fairy godmother as she flew off saying, "Just follow the yellow-dick toad !"

09-22-2010, 02:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	The Yellow Toad So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads; he'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing. Anyway, this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother. "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads," he begs her. "I'm pissed off being so visible to predators. The stress is like, killing me, you know?" "Okay" says the fairy godmother, who whips out her magic wand and goes: "Abracapokus! You're brown!" The toad looks down and sees that he is brown ! Except for his weenie, which is still yellow. "Hang about lady," he says to the fairy godmother. "My pecker's still yellow!" "Yeah, well I don't do weenies," she says. "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." So the toad thanks her and hops off on his way. There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother (yes okay it's a coincidence, but it's true). "Fairy Godmother! You're just the person I need!" says the purple bear. "I can't pull any bearesses cos they don't want to be seen with me on account of the hunters. They can spot me from a mile off." Being a fairly nice fairy godmother, she takes out her magic wand. "Oh for goodness sake, what is the matter with you around here." she says. And with that, she yells: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!" The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown. Except for his goolies, which remain purple. "Hold up sweetheart!", he says to the fairy godmother, "My goolies are still purple!" "Yeah, well I don't do those goolie things," she replies, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." "Well that's just dandy, isn't it?" the bear replies. "How the hell do I find the Wizard of Oz?" "Easy," says the fairy godmother as she flew off saying, "Just follow the yellow-dick toad !" __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.