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I agree with basically everything said so far. There's absolulty an in-group and and out-group balance going on. In my lesbian and bisexual lives class last sumer we talked alot about terminology and how the gay community has "taken back" these terms. Turning queer and fag into positive things, if only within the community itself, but to try and take some of the power away from the put-downs.
I do agree it's hypocritical that you can call someone a fag but when someone else does it it is rude. Same thing as the nigga argument. In some ways I think that if one person is allowed to say it in a NON-hateful way, then others should be able to say it non-hatefully as well. BUT on the flip side, I think maybe it's something you earn. It's a sign of respect in a way, to use terms that are normally used as a hatred and change their meaning. It is sort of like giving someone a nickname. You don't just do it the first time you meet someone, it's gotta be earned, take time.
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