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Yeah, the reason I suggested the sneaky route that I did is because you don't want to tip your hand too much. Anyone can go all berzerker and start flinging accusations but in the event of cheating without evidence, you need to be much craftier. So intimate, insinuate. Covert, not overt , you know?
And no, do not go sleep with her friend. This isn't high school, if he did something like that his wife could nail his balls to a 2x4 in court when her friend testifies that she did in fact sleep with him while conveniently leaving out that she had also slept with the wife. Just play your cards close to your chest, get a confession out of the friend, husband or wife and move on with your life. I think it's goes without saying if you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, and I mean really cheating not just some emotional affair, they likely are. People are far more intuitive than they give themselves credit for.
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