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First question - how old are you? That could make a big difference and change my advice 180 degrees. It's possible that there's a medical explanation, but without knowing more, it's hard to say.
Here's what you're going to do: take sex off the table for a while. She can blow you, you can go down on her, but no penis in vagina. That's not going to happen for a while.
Your problem seems to come when you start thinking about sex. So stop thinking about sex.
The other idea is that maybe you want to change positions and have her be on top.
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"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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