Mantus

One lesson I learned in life is that one needs to judge people by their actions. I've known many people who were very nice and great to hang with and constantly claimed that they would be there for me if anything happened. Well, shit happened and they didn't show up.

Are they not real friends? Perhaps.

What I realized is that there are very few people in this world with true conviction and a code by which they live life. In other words few can be counted upon to keep their word. At first this brought me great pain because as I began to scan my social circle I realized that almost everyone I knew was a selfish flake.

I've come to accept this fact of life. I don't hold this selfish trait against people any longer. I've grown much more self-reliant. I've also learned that words are not enough to motivate people. You have to use leverage on them. You have to trade and barter for their loyalty. Friendship is built upon more than time spent together. There has to be a genuine exchange of value in order to obtain loyalty. It's important to note that peoples values change over time and the glue which held you together years ago will wear down and no longer apply. If no new common ground is found the relationship dies.

Don't take it personally. People go though phases in life. I've done very stupid things to hurt friends in the past which made sense at the time but were rather terrible in hindsight. We don't always act rationally.

Leave him alone and do your own thing. If he makes a choice to come back into your life allow it to happen but test his sincerity first with a minor task. Ask him to to jump though a little hoop for you and return the favor. If he doesn't perform then it's all talk.