Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly
If you're making requests, you're not having sex in the midst of a hot and heavy romantic whirlwind. Needing to ask for anything sexually is a sign that you are out-of-sync. Your relationship's level of non-verbal communication is not where it should be.
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This bit didn't sit well with me either. Verbalizing your desires/fantasies via requests/instructions can very well be done in the midst of a hot and heavy romantic whirlwind. Non-verbal communication is important, but it's not the be-all and end-all. We have a highly developed mode of audible communication for a reason. Actions are great, but words are powerful too. Plus, I think mind reading is overrated. I often cannot even read my own mind.
I do agree with you that the OP's wife should be more open to pleasing him, and I agree that maybe there is something else going on. Or, I'll go back to my previous idea: Maybe she just really doesn't like to do it. It'd be like if the wife was really geared up about anal sex but the OP reluctant to do it for sanitary reasons.
Humans are complex beings. We can't all be into the same things with the same level of intensity. But a compromise would be a wonderful thing to work towards—a give and take. This is what the OP needs to work out. Maybe BJs will only be offered as a reward for something else, sexual or non-sexual. So be it, if that's what he wants.