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What LoganSnake et al are getting at is that if this is such a big deal to you, you shouldn't have gotten married until it was resolved to everyone's satisfaction. Marriage doesn't fix a damned thing. Expecting any aspect of your relationship to improve because of it is, frankly, stupid. If you absolutely can't live without that kind of stimulation, you've kind of screwed yourself over; extricating yourself from the situation after you're married is a much more complicated and expensive process than it would've been beforehand.
You say 'it's not a deal breaker now, but it might be down the road.' What I get out of that is 'this is a deal breaker, but I'm still hopeful she'll come 'round.'
Bad news is she probably won't. The most probable reason that she half-asses blow jobs is because she doesn't like giving them. I suppose you could try some sort of coercion or tit-for-tat arrangement to get them more often, but frankly I wouldn't expect the quality to improve and it's my view that treating relationships or sex as a zero sum kind of thing is the wrong way to go about it.
My Suggestion: first, sit down on your own and figure out just how important this is to you. Do you really need your wife to hoover your knob to be happy, or can you live without that? Are there alternative ways to get a similar type of satisfaction? Can you do something else to achieve the same result that your wife might be more enthusiastic about?
Next, sit down with her. Now that you've got it sorted out in your head, you can explain to her clearly and simply. Avoid accusations. This isn't ultimately about her. You're the one with the problem.
Phrases like 'I feel...' are good. There was one that was brought up a lot here in the past that went 'when you do X, I feel Y.' It's a good way to link a cause to an emotion without being confrontational.
Lastly, explore alternatives with your wife. This can be a very fun thing for the two of you to do together; the internet is the most depraved resource in the history of mankind, and will be very helpful. Read up on sex positions and different activities you can do. Try them out, see how they work for you.
Let This Be A Lesson To You. Allowing an issue with your relationship to fester for three years will just make it worse, and getting married before you've dealt with it will not help.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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