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Had younger sister who died, a father who was somewhat violent (and who I came to hate), a lot of issues with my mother who very clearly favoured my other sister (for reasons I can understand now, didnt then) and who attempted suicide at least twice that I am aware of.
Got kicked out of the house at 14 on Christmas Day (really) - a part of me has always been kind of furious that I allowed myself to go back.
When I was younger I carried around a lot of anger and aggression - but these days I care less and less. I turned out to be the stronger one of all my family - not the forceful or powerful one, but the one who didnt get fucked up or break. Now I understand that the day I (and he) realised I was physically stronger than my dad wasnt really as important as over the years I stopped carrying round anger at myself for allowing myself to be a victim, stopped hating both my parents, etc
Sometimes I come across as depressive, and violent tempered - but I 100% know I will never be like either of my parents. 100%
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But sometimes I do fear the amount of mental illness (and I men clinically diagnosed mental illness) in my family... but I still am sure that, despite my somewhat volatile moods, I am not like them.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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