It sounds like the worst situation for you is anything social, where you meet people (from one-to-one to one-to-lots). I have always felt that people will 'find me out' and that they know so much about me an I know nothing about them.
What I have found helpful is to always be interested in others. Even in the local shop or post office, use your brief conversation be be about the people serving you. Avoid talking about yourself if you can (though avoid 'fine' as a response to the 'how are you' question as most councillors consider this an indication of being anything but!) This doesn't solve your paranoia, but it changes how you see the relationships as then it is about other people, not you.
Now, it is possible that you may believe that people are still talking about you, and they might be (am I aloud to say that!) but you would be surprised how highly people think of someone who is interested in them (most people like to talk about themselves and their lives - being interested in them is always flattering.)
Finally, I would echo the other comments here in that professional help is always worth thinking about. It might be that, rather than a psychologist, a local support group (or faith based organisation you have contact with) might be willing to offer some counselling. Go with an idea of what you want out of it and set small goals - don't expect a resolution. (How about 'Understanding what is wrong', 'help with dealing with social situations', 'developing some self esteem and personal worth'?)
DB
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