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The sickest? A bout with Strep Throat. I remember when it began. I went to bed about 11:30 and had to get up to go to the bathroom around 12:30. I was shivering uncontrollably (and I just DON'T get that cold!). The next day I got in to see the doctor about 4pm. The nurse took my temperature (102) and asked how I was feeling. I said pretty lousy and she said she understood with a temperature like that. I asked: "Why? Is that high?" She looked at me like I'm and idiot (I get that look a lot, so I recognise it), and left. The doctor came in and asked the same thing and had I taken anything for it. I said pretty lousy and no. She looked at me like I'm an idiot (see previous parenthisis).
Now, in my defense, I had a 1-yo who was prone to throat and ear infections and whose temperature would regulalry spike to 102. And I HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW that aspirin and Tylenol would reduce a fever. I thought they just masked the symptoms and eased the discomfort (ok, maybe the idiot look wasn't totally undeserved).
The most dangerous? When my wife poisoned me (so I say, she says it was just one of those things). We had tried a new dish for supper... a pork roast with a prepackaged sauce. Midnight again and I was scratching my arm, like I had some dry skin or something. I looked down and I could see the little red spots there. I thought: "Great! A rash or an infection of some kind." I finished of the last of a bottle of Children's Benadryl we had for the kids to stop the itching and went to sleep.
The next morning there were lots more spots around my groin and belly. I couldn't go to work because of the effort required not to scratch, so I wandered over to the hospital. By then, the red spots were merging into red welts and blotches. The doctor looked at them and asked if I was allergic to anything. With great confidence I said no. He looked at me like I was an idiot (do you sense a theme here?) and said: "Yes, you are. Those are hives." He ordered me to take the full adult dose of Benadryl for the next 2-3 days and if I had any trouble breathing, to get back there, or to call an ambulance. Nice, especially since my mother died of an allergic reaction.
So, I ended up with hives over 75% of my body (think Will Smith in Hitch, only I don't look that good on my best day), and I found out I DO NOT react well to Benadryl. It is an incredibly powerful OTC drug. Hitch's reaction wouldn't be atypical. I ended up in a trance... it was like thinking through mud. Just forming an idea/intent took an effort. Physical movement at a snail's pace was a major triumph. I cut the dosage on the second day, and even now, half a tablet affects me for a day (adult dosage is 2 tablets every 4-6 hours).
Oh, and I make sure *I* cook all the pork now.
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The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.
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