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I'm also in the camp that it's because men are more tuned to sex hence the "negative" aspect. And vice versa.
And besides, I always thought fleshlight was called to cleverly disguise it's name.
"Dad, whats this?"
"Er ... That's my flashlight, I need it in case the lights go out"
Later on ...
Wife:"Honey, do you want me to get the fleshlight...?"
Jimmy:"Don't you mean flashlight? And why do you need it? The lights are not out." Flips light switch.
Dad:"JIMMY! Go back to bed!!"
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