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Plan9 · 07-13-2009, 03:17 PM

How do I manage? Lemme tell ya how I manage:

- Quantity. There are a zillion women on the Internet and they're there for the same reason guys are: to cut the bullshit. They're bored with the bar scene, they're tired of their friends hooking them up with bipedal fail, etc. They hop on a dating site and post a profile because they're interesting in meeting a guy quicker and with less work. They wanna get as much exposure and browse as much as you do. They get 20 messages a day, you get maybe 1.

- Multitasking. Basically talking to half a dozen different girls at once. It's lame, but I copy and paste my MS Word life story blurbs into the emails, editing them so they fit. That way I don't feel like I'm a broken record with a QWERTY output. After a few canned starters, conversations tend to go every which way... but usually end up on sex after 2 AM (it's a law of internet dating sites, I swear). Point is: you figure out if you can even talk to the person.

- I'm polite. Sure, they may have been hit on before by every thumb-dicked wonder out there, but that's okay: you're not the next idiot, you're Johnny New-'n-Amazing, showing up with good grammar, punctuation, and instead of asking her about her cup size, you're inquiring about things that matter: musical taste, what grosses her out, political leanings, how does she feel about credit cards, what kinda car does she want in the future, childhood antics, are her friends all married, what is her relationship with her parents, etc. It's like a psych eval, credit check, and job interview all in one. People, women especially, love to talk and they'll pretty much tell ya whatever ya wanna know as long as you make it interesting. Make it about them and watch the floodgates open. The anonymous and sterile format makes convo real easy.

I win with online dating because I can talk to four different actually-interested-in-dating girls at once without spending a dime. I can arrange dates during the week and the weekend, which maximizes my chances of meeting a good girlfriend / rockin' bed buddy / somebody who doesn't sit in a sink, etc.

I'm tellin' ya, it's easy as hell and has been pretty successful for me in terms of effort in -> results out. I've gone out on well over a dozen dates and met a lot of different and/or interesting girls. Real life date one was like date three by the time we actually met. This gets you to the make-outs far sooner.

...

Online dating works well for me because I'm an idiot and any idiot can do it. I'm also impatient and cynical, two things that online dating caters to well.

Here's the magical system: Get a profile on a free site. Make it interesting with genuine comments and good pictures of yourself doing things. Browse girls that catch your eye. Read their profiles. Comment on things in their profile instead of their vain bikini-in-the-mirror pic. Wash, rinse, get STD test.

Put some effort into it... and stop dragging home swamp donkeys at last call, ya needy bastard.

07-13-2009, 03:17 PM	#25 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	How do I manage? Lemme tell ya how I manage: - Quantity. There are a zillion women on the Internet and they're there for the same reason guys are: to cut the bullshit. They're bored with the bar scene, they're tired of their friends hooking them up with bipedal fail, etc. They hop on a dating site and post a profile because they're interesting in meeting a guy quicker and with less work. They wanna get as much exposure and browse as much as you do. They get 20 messages a day, you get maybe 1. - Multitasking. Basically talking to half a dozen different girls at once. It's lame, but I copy and paste my MS Word life story blurbs into the emails, editing them so they fit. That way I don't feel like I'm a broken record with a QWERTY output. After a few canned starters, conversations tend to go every which way... but usually end up on sex after 2 AM (it's a law of internet dating sites, I swear). Point is: you figure out if you can even talk to the person. - I'm polite. Sure, they may have been hit on before by every thumb-dicked wonder out there, but that's okay: you're not the next idiot, you're Johnny New-'n-Amazing, showing up with good grammar, punctuation, and instead of asking her about her cup size, you're inquiring about things that matter: musical taste, what grosses her out, political leanings, how does she feel about credit cards, what kinda car does she want in the future, childhood antics, are her friends all married, what is her relationship with her parents, etc. It's like a psych eval, credit check, and job interview all in one. People, women especially, love to talk and they'll pretty much tell ya whatever ya wanna know as long as you make it interesting. Make it about them and watch the floodgates open. The anonymous and sterile format makes convo real easy. I win with online dating because I can talk to four different actually-interested-in-dating girls at once without spending a dime. I can arrange dates during the week and the weekend, which maximizes my chances of meeting a good girlfriend / rockin' bed buddy / somebody who doesn't sit in a sink, etc. I'm tellin' ya, it's easy as hell and has been pretty successful for me in terms of effort in -> results out. I've gone out on well over a dozen dates and met a lot of different and/or interesting girls. Real life date one was like date three by the time we actually met. This gets you to the make-outs far sooner. ... Online dating works well for me because I'm an idiot and any idiot can do it. I'm also impatient and cynical, two things that online dating caters to well. Here's the magical system: Get a profile on a free site. Make it interesting with genuine comments and good pictures of yourself doing things. Browse girls that catch your eye. Read their profiles. Comment on things in their profile instead of their vain bikini-in-the-mirror pic. Wash, rinse, get STD test. Put some effort into it... and stop dragging home swamp donkeys at last call, ya needy bastard. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 07-13-2009 at 03:29 PM..