My guess is that you are not extreme enough for him.
He's probably a hard core submissive and he knows in his heart that you are not, but he's hoping. He's probably embarassed by his fantasies and that's the reason he won't open up to you.
http://www.elisesutton.com/
Might explain a bit more of the male submissive mind to you,
I've dabbled in the BDSM thing, but find the "lifestyle" to be both contrived and exhausting. I've determined that BDSM is most enjoyable when it is an occasional bedroom kink. Since I've played both roles, these would be my observations.
1. Being a dom is hard work and involves a lot of creativity.
2. Being a dom, you'd better know what you're doing.
3. A good dom is very very very hard to find.
4. Most women and most men enjoy being the submissive partner. As such, there is a numbers imbalance.
Bondage, ropes and such are BDSM 101.
You probably need to escalate it to:
Humiliation
Cock and Ball Torture
Forced Bi (on his part)
Golden showers
Cuckholding
Cuckholding with cleanup
Pegging
Chastity Belts - CB 6000, etc
Femininzation
Forced sex servatude
Piercings
etc. etc. etc.
Are you prepared to take it to that level?
My guess would be that you are not cut out for it and therefore, and there's nothing wrong with that, and as a result, you and he are incompatible.