Opening, a press conference. Press is clattering, anticipation growing, and then a hush.

Out walks a pastor, a priest, a few monks, and Jesus Christ.

Jesus: "Okay, I'll take your questions."

A woman stands up. "Our Lord, how do you feel about the ongoing war in Afghanistan?"

Jesus sits forward. "Put your sword back in its place, for all who draw the sword will die by the sword."

The journalists all jot down the line.

A black man in the back stands up. "What should be done about the issue of poverty? Should we leave the poor to fend for themselves or assist them?"

Jesus smiles. "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God."

An overweight man in the front stands. "What about those homosexuals?"

Jesus sits there silently.

The man asks again, "Jesus, what about homosexuals? Please, Lord, teach us."

Jesus just sits there.

Cut to black.

"Jesus never said anything about homosexuality. If it were so important, don't you think he would have mentioned something?"