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In terms of my own view, rather than just talking about the law...
I think there is a matter of degree. In terms of someone being whipped... if someone is flogged and badly hurt (ie - lasting marks, broken skin, broken bones) - I think thats assault even if they asked for it.
If someone is hit on the arse with a paddle to sting and redden the skin but cause no lasting injury, I think common sense says that thats probably not an assault - IF there is consent, although it is an action that clearly can cause emotional damage and humiliation even if there is no real physical harm done and this needs to be taken into account.
In terms of gender, I guess we have to be realistic. I cannot say, 100% that it is IMPOSSIBLE for a woman to assault a man, and Im am sure someone can quote me an example of it, but in real life we all probably understand that instances of that are pretty rare. Most of the cases of assault within relationships are unfortunately males attacking women, and in my view the law has to be heavy with these criminals. If a woman does assault a man, and real harm is done, that woman should be punished - but we probably do have to consider is society served by women (often mothers) being thrown in jail? In the worst cases there is no choice, but we should more careful about handing out grey days to a woman than to some thug who beats up his girlfriend.
I understand some people find his sexist, but in my view if a woman is assaulting a man (1) the assault is likely to be less serious and (2) there are far more likely to be aggrivating factors and (3) the woman may have emotional problems which are better addressed through counselling and community service.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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