Trust is totally an awesome Megadeth song and I had hoped that this thread might feature it. Oh well, it does now:
Trust... hmm.
Trust. Has a weird texture to it, no?
Trust is all that Rick Astley superfeelgood pop spooge:
I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
I've done the blind tin soldier sucker routine with a number of people, especially women. And I've been knocked down by all sorts of blows... indecision, immaturity, infidelity, non-repayment (always a real cock-in-the-ear, never EVER lend money). Every time I get up a little slower and with a little more karate chop action. I've learned that the people you can really trust are the ones that don't ask questions and don't demand you answer them.
...
Regarding your question:
Don't violate the "trust" and privacy of the potential cheater. It not only goes against the professional ethics of broken-hearted Beta males everywhere, it just sets you up to do it again later.
If your buddy is worried about his girlfriend double-dippin', he needs to be assertive about it instead of being sneaky. Nobody likes the sin-for-a-sin routine. "You're cheating on me! I read those emails after stealing your password and violating your privacy!" You put yourself on their level and only give into the temptations that'll eat away at your soul later because you've set a new lower standard for yourself.
I've had numerous relationships where the woman just didn't understand privacy and tried to make
me feel bad that
they were, as Wayne Campbell so eloquently puts it, a "psycho hose beast."
Plus, it's easier to play the holier-than-thou card when you actually are. Hah, but don't take my word for it. I'm a sellout.
...
I worry that when I say "trust" I'm really saying, "Don't worry, I have an escape plan." That can't be healthy.
Real trust is something I've felt between my guy friends and I... army buddies and karate cronies. Trust is definitely different than romantic love, it's something that comes from real world stress tests. It is devoid of gender, age, pants size, bank account girth, etc. It cannot be manufactured. It can evaporate in seconds. It is valuable but not expensive and yet it doesn't come cheap.
What's that old saying?
"Friends will help you move a couch. Good friends will help you move a body."
I really believe that.