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Interestingly enough, you're having your own conversation about it already. You say you can't help the anger. Who controls your emotions if you don't? You also stated that you don't like that kind of hostility for reasons unknown. Why not ask her next time, "Why do you call him 'big-belly'"? Make her explain her hostility. I'm almost certain that if you do this, and if she can't give you justification, then she'll never do it in your presence again.
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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
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