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Hyacinthe · 01-20-2009, 01:50 AM

Very good to hear from you again scared25 I was wondering if this was going to be a one time problem post so it's fantastic to see you back.

Maybe sexy isn't the best word to use then, is there any time in your life when you have felt, beautiful, feminine, powerful, in control - anything that makes you feel honestly good about yourself?

Those are great things to use in regards to feeling 'sexy'. For me I feel sexy in stockings, ridiculous heels and corsets. They make me feel powerful, feminine, an object of desire. They make me feel confident in myself and I think that's one of the cores of feeling 'sexy' having that confidence. Sex and sexual situations do leave you emotionally vulnerable so that strength which can be buoyed up by pretty much anything can help you to feel more free physically, emotionally or mentally in a sexual situation. If your discomfort is related only to the word sexy you can try hot, cute, desirable, feminine etc etc One of the things that always makes me feel like that is a set of nude photographs I had taken for advertising purposes, everytime I look at them I am reminded "you know what I'm really nto a bad looking girl" I doubt you're ready for nude phtooes yet but something to keep inmind for the future!

The journalling is a good idea, it will help you to go through and really look at your reasoning when it comes to disliking sexual situations, having to write down and examine your thought processes can make you realise that there is a problem there and (not directed at you but more me when I journal) how silly some of your mental connections between ideas really are.

How is the hubby handling all of this? Does he appreciate how hard you're trying to sort this out? Or is it still hard on him. If so you might want to share some of the things that worry you about sexual situations with him, some of your doubts and fears.It'll most definitely hurt if he laughs them off but if he's the type of person that can sit and listen and then just hold you after or explain to you WHY he thinks differently via some nice compliments that could be useful.

How is the sex therapy going? Has that helped at all? Having never been to a sex therapist I'm not sure what type of things he / she would have you doing but I'm hoping it's helping

01-20-2009, 01:50 AM	#19 (permalink)
Hyacinthe Psycho Location: Australia	Very good to hear from you again scared25 I was wondering if this was going to be a one time problem post so it's fantastic to see you back. Maybe sexy isn't the best word to use then, is there any time in your life when you have felt, beautiful, feminine, powerful, in control - anything that makes you feel honestly good about yourself? Those are great things to use in regards to feeling 'sexy'. For me I feel sexy in stockings, ridiculous heels and corsets. They make me feel powerful, feminine, an object of desire. They make me feel confident in myself and I think that's one of the cores of feeling 'sexy' having that confidence. Sex and sexual situations do leave you emotionally vulnerable so that strength which can be buoyed up by pretty much anything can help you to feel more free physically, emotionally or mentally in a sexual situation. If your discomfort is related only to the word sexy you can try hot, cute, desirable, feminine etc etc One of the things that always makes me feel like that is a set of nude photographs I had taken for advertising purposes, everytime I look at them I am reminded "you know what I'm really nto a bad looking girl" I doubt you're ready for nude phtooes yet but something to keep inmind for the future! The journalling is a good idea, it will help you to go through and really look at your reasoning when it comes to disliking sexual situations, having to write down and examine your thought processes can make you realise that there is a problem there and (not directed at you but more me when I journal) how silly some of your mental connections between ideas really are. How is the hubby handling all of this? Does he appreciate how hard you're trying to sort this out? Or is it still hard on him. If so you might want to share some of the things that worry you about sexual situations with him, some of your doubts and fears.It'll most definitely hurt if he laughs them off but if he's the type of person that can sit and listen and then just hold you after or explain to you WHY he thinks differently via some nice compliments that could be useful. How is the sex therapy going? Has that helped at all? Having never been to a sex therapist I'm not sure what type of things he / she would have you doing but I'm hoping it's helping __________________ "I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."